Don’t Lose Touch
Look into your past: Remember who you were.
Look at yourself now: Understand who you’ve become.
Imagine the future: Plan who you want to be.
They say our most powerful tool is imagination.
A Heart-felt Sensation
As the clock ticks my life away, I can't seem to understand or rather comprehend what might lie ahead.
It's these forces, the conditions that we are expected to live under that confuse me.
It's the instability of a well thought-out life plan that makes my life so fragile in structure.
I've tried it all; I've tried waking up at the same time every day, following a list of tasks that are meant to be done, meant to be taken care of in a constrained time span. I've tried waking up whenever my body tells me it's time. I've tried losing touch with everyone around me, living in my own reality. Nothing seems to work.
Nothing makes me motivated enough to reach my goal.
I've tried, I've tried and I'm tired.
At the end of the day, when I feel that sensation in my heart,
I know my life has purpose, and I'd be damned if I didn't try harder.
Superficial
We live in a populated world now-a-days, close to 7-billion people around the world, the chances are quiet low for us to find the one; about 0.000000014% to be exact. I don't personally believe in the one, but one thing I do believe in is that if you really want to, you can build a relationship, so strong in nature, that you will refer to your partner as the one.
We have all these criteria in our minds, these lists of specifications for people's personalities, behavior, their choice of friends, their choice in clothing and style, the kind of books they read, the kind of music they listen to, the dialect or accent they have, and how big/small their breasts/muscles are, what color their eyes are, how good of a kisser they are, and many other things.
We use these requirements to "protect" ourselves: we meet someone new, we talk to them for a few minutes and if they score well on our list then we keep interacting with them, otherwise – they're out of the picture.
If you think about it, all we're doing is restricting ourselves from meeting new and interesting people. Someone who you would be able to connect to in ways you would have never thought of. If only we took the time to get to know every person we meet...
From the point that you meet someone–the first contact–until the moment you truly know who that person is, what their past is and how those certain experiences they've had in their past affected them, for them to become who they are now, exists nothing but uncertainty–could they be someone you could really connect to? Emotionally, spiritually, sexually?
Engineering?
Well, I've already applied to UofT engineering. I may get in, and even if I do I'm not sure if I'll go for it. But anyway, here's the essay I wrote for it (I know it's a little self-centered, but the question directed me that way):
"Scientists study the world as it is, engineers create the world that never has been. " Theodore von Karman. As a first year Computer Science student at U of T, that quote symbolizes why I want to become an engineer. I have the passion to go further than a scientist would. Evidently, in order to achieve such goals and be able to create anything that's not a derivation of others' work, one would have to be able overcome any obstacles and problems that come in their way. Which is where my first skill comes in handy: Problem Solving.
In order to depict my problem solving abilities, I would like to reference my experience with microprocessors. Using ColdFusion in middle-school (Iran), I was able to make a robot, which was also collaboratively made by my teammates, follow a white line and reach a finish line. During the programming of the chip I came across many issues, from finding out how strong the voltage was from the sensors for different colors to simpler issues such as what direction the robot was to go when white line was detected at sensor #x, x being a known installed sensor. Nonetheless, with the help of my teammates I was able to over come all those problems and create a functional robot. Which brings us to another notable skill: Team work, as most brilliant projects were throughout and designed collaboratively.
I have worked in many group projects. I've worked both as a member and as a leader of groups that were involved in programming and software design. Recently, I enjoyed working with two fellow students in a class I took (CSC207H1, U of T) and we managed to finish the project on time and as expected. Whether a leader or a member, one would have to be on top of what they are assigned to in order to keep the project at its expected pace. To point out another collaborative and in-progress project, I'm working on a game called "Jabberwocky Scindo" for TOJam (http://tojam.ca) as a Music Floater and Particle Designer under a very good leadership.
I hope my skills are sufficient for me to become an engineer.
What’s Reality To You?
We, as members of society, are conditioned to follow a set of rules. Because without them, instability is born.
In the big picture, morals and rules do good to humanity.
Life is like a song (J. R. R. Tolkien's perception), there are sad songs and there are happy songs. Good and Bad. Evil and Kind. Low notes and high notes.
As individuals, we are meant to be positive energy, or negative energy–to the society. Follow the rules, or break them constantly. Be consistent, or be inconsistent. Follow our humanistic ambitions, or live a habitual life. So on, so forth.
In the spectrum (the musical sheet of life), love can be whether a good note or a bad note, a positive enforcement or a negative one.
We can love–romantically love–the way our hearts tell us to; love someone passionately, blindingly and obsessively or we can superficially love someone in order to keep the society balanced: Find a partner, reproduce.
The trick is to find the middle ground.
You make your choices, I'll make mine.
At the end of the day, we're all just notes in a song.